She is Strong yet Weak

Ok can I go off topic for just a sec. At the beginning of the year I was tired of not being in shape and not being able to play rugby like I wanted to. So I did a few things to change it. First I signed up for cross fit. I went every tuesday and thursday. I went to coaches house and did the things he asked me too. I ate healthier. It was not an easy thing. I actually at times wanted to give up and say "It is doing nothing." But now that rugby season is over All star starts. At the beginning of last year I would have never even imaged that I could even make it through try-outs let alone make the team. I told my mom I just wanted to try-out because you know what it was an option that  I could make it through try-out day. Today I found out that it worked. I made the ALL STAR TEAM. I know that if you put your heart in it you can do hard things. I can't believe it! I am in shock. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR HEART TOO. Don't let your mind take you over. Listen to your ...

Dear Abrianna, Or should I say Abi what do you really go bye???? Your mom and Dad named you Abrianna??? Why are you not taking risks? You are living so carefully. Why? It is ok not to love. You will have time for all that. Right now be ok with yourself and being a lone wolf. Go to a movie alone. You won't be able to for very long. Enjoy. YOU GOT THIS!!!!! Love, Your heart Dear Heart,  I want to go by Abrianna trust me I do. It just hard to switch when everyone at the school knows me my Abi. It will change when I go to college. I promise. With the other things I am trying. I am getting closer. Love, Abrianna P.S. Can you be a little more softer. It is ok to cry when your hurt. Dear Abrianna,  I have to stay hard it keeps you and me both safe.  Love,  From your heart HEART, Here is the thing with doing that you get so hurt. You keep it all inside and then you BLOW UP . We can't do that . It is not fair to are family and the people that ...

I don't really know how to say this. I wanted to do a video, but I never had time. Nelson I hope you don't think I am a waste of time. Or someone that does not care. See i told this blog things that I don't tell. I am ready to tell you who I am but you guys don't care. I write for myself. Because I know I won't get comments from this. You guys only post on the good ones. I guess I am not one of the good ones. But really I am not here to bash on you, if you are reading this. See if you knew me you would know that I don't care what you all think of me. I use to care. Why, would I care if i have a family that loves me so much. I would do anything for my family. If you really knew me you would know…  I love my family. I am happy more than I am sad. I am a mormon. I love everyone. I don't hate anyone. BUT... You might know me as the girl that tried out for student council for 4 years.  Or the girl that does not care anymore...

Dear Neighbor, I Am Sorry For Putting A Hole In Your Fence And Running Away. And Never Telling You. Dear Boy In My Ward, I Have Had A Crush On You. Ever since You Moved In. I Miss  The Night Games We Use ToO Do Together.  Hey There You, Sorry I Said The Wrong Name. I Do Know It. I Do It To Everyone. Ask Anyone. To All That Have To Listen,  I Am Sorry That I Say  Sorry To Much.  See Here Is The Thing I Have Done Allot Of Stupid mistakes.  I Don't Really Know Where I Am Going With This. I am Not Going To say Sorry Because I Just Said Sorry For That. ThIs Scares Me It Does not Ever Come out As I Plan. Whatever I hope You Like It.  I Am Not Writing This For You Though.  So Don't Think That. 

 I Fear Things To Hide From Reality.              I Don't Want To Tell You All My Fears.                           I Have Been Told It Is A Sign Of Weakness.                                            Is It?  I Could Not Think So. I Am No Better Than You. I Have Fears!! I Don't Want To Tell You My Fears. Because I Fear You Will Find out Who I Am Behind This Cover. How Long Can I Stay Hidden?  I Don't want you To Know My Deepest Fears. One Thing I Fear Is That I Well Never Know What The Difference BetweeN The Too'S Are. I Do Fear.    I D o Fear. I Do Fear. That Is All The Fear You Are Getting To See.

Outside My HouseThere Is A Brick Wall. One Day My Brother Went Out There And Found A Fault In It. He Took That Fault And Broke It. There Was It Was Sitting On The Ground. Parts Of It Broken. We Got Gorilla Glue And Tried To Patch It Up But That Brick Was Never The Same After My Brother Pulled On It. He Felt Bad Now, All He Was Doing Was Being And Wanting To Feel Strong. If We ChangeD A Few Things About That Story Like The Object The Brick which Equals The Victim. My Brother Would Be The Bully. Now Listen To This. A Bully Saw A Kid Sitting Alone So He Makes The Victim Feel Weak. The Bully Itself Had A Flaw. He Was Hurt Himself He Wanted To Feel Strong. He Gone Now We Have The Victim On The Ground Feeling Weak And HopeLess. We Can Try To Patch The Kid Up But This Victim Will Never Me The Same. WE Can Only Patch Up Too A Point Till We Can't Take Enough. Lets Skip A Step. Lets Stop That Boy At The Beginning By Using The Glue To Strengthen The Fault Rather Than Repairing The Broken. ...

So if we Did Not Have Salt Or Pepper Life Would Be So Boring For Me At Least. I WaTn too Be Sweet And Salty.  And Strong! I Feel Like If We CoulD Be Like SalT And Pepper We Would Be Well Round. So Let All Try To Be Like Salt And Pepper.

LOVE You want me too talk about love. I don't know what love is! I don't know what that means. I say it too my friends but I don't know what it means. I guess I like them a lot. I don't think I have ever loved someone as much as my MOTHER. My mother I say I love. I extremely like R…… HE is my one. As of right now. I can't say anymore until I experience a little more on love. I can't say I love this blog. That is all. Love is LOVE!! That word scares me. Love.

I am sitting here in sunday after noon. Forgeting that these were due. I don't really get this whole writing your feelings. It is hard for me it may look easy from your perspective. SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO This blog is not going to be another sappy romance or another my life sucks and this is why!!! Because that is not me: ME IS: Rainbows they make happy but they make me sad. I dance in my room with a cane as my stand and microphone. I run around my house because I am bored. I jump on my tramp. I love my family! This is me! i am happy more then I am sad! Sad is your heart telling you be happy. Hurting is a choice. I could be sad but I choose to be HAPPY. Why because it feels better. What do you choose everyday? Happy? or Sad? YOU CHOOSE OTHERS CAN'T DECIDE FOR YOU! SO CHOOSE I HOPE IT IS HAPPY.

In my youth I didn't care that my hair looked weird. I didn't care that my outfits did not match because I was proud I got dressed by myself. I loved school because I got recess. I really do miss nap time that was so much fun. I think something that is really hard that was not there before is that I had people that actually told me what I thought. I never thought that my childhood was lost. I am enjoying what I am doing and were I am going. I am so excited to continue to live like i just don't care. I am always trying too live like I don't care what I look like and be proud of who I am. This is  a human that is trying to live the best they know how to be.

Hard times don't create heroes. It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed. -Bob Riley Hi I am Jennie Duffy that is not my real name of course. She is my great aunt that made it possible for me to come here to America. I have an amazing family! They support me in all I do! They think they know me and they do. They know most things about me. But there is a lot that no one knows about me. You see there is a lot that I do for others that I don't enjoy. I do it with a smile on my face because that is who I am. If I could choose I would be at school and just sit and learn. That would be great! People say everyone is fighting there own battle that is so true. Like I hate birds! I feel I am going to be pecked to death by them. Like I can’t sleep with my door closed. I have to sleep with a fan. I have the same nightmare every October 30 th . I am left handed. I get headaches every day. Some days are worse than others...